roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
