at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
