So drunk its hurt
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize