its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
