Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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