bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
