oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
