I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize