I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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