OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
