I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
