You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Terrible idea I love it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
