The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
