do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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