You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
