Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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