are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
