You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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