i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
