Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
