he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize