3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
