Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
