i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
