...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
