barbara walters just said penis...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were destined to go to rehab together
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
