She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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