I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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