you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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