Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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