Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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