oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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