Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
