I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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