It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
