you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
