Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
