please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
