Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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