If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
