Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
