im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
