I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's like heaven, but drunker
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
