Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
