I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to align my fucking chakras
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize