HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
