i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
