i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
