Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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