I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
