Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You ate ashes out of my bong
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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