I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
