I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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