3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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