Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
