I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
