Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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