he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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