I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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