he wants to bone in the snuggie
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
