you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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