sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
