No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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