I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
