dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
