Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
