I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
