Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
