Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
