If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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