so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
