why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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